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In the game of love, she’s got seriously rigid rules of play.
Stalking, staying sober and abstaining from sexy exchanges are just a few of the unwavering laws a Gen Z influencer swears by when it comes to dating — and the brunette’s inflexible formula has landed her the man of her dreams.
“Men [are] no longer wasting my time,” bragged tastemaker Tam Kaur, 22, from the UK, to NeedToKnow online.
Following a rough breakup with an ex in 2020, she created a list of eight non-negotiable, unbreakable dating mandates to which all wannabe-beaus must adhere.
Her sweetie decree is similar to regulations set by superstitious singles, such as the rule that a first date must occur on a Thursday or the controversial advice that women should have sex on a first date.
Kaur’s got an answer for that.
She recently offered a comprehensive breakdown of the courting commandments to her more than 255,000 TikTok followers, captioning the viral post, “These rules made my dating life 10-times better.”
Kicking off her list of demands, Kaur insisted that any social media suitor slide into her direct messages with some swag.
“Keep it respectful and don’t be basic,” she commanded in the video, which racked up over 187,000 views. “The opening line of our conversation will tell me everything I need to know about the kind of guy you are, how often you slide into DMs and how unique you are.”
“I refuse to respond to any DMs that start with, ‘Hi,’ ‘How are you?,’ ‘What’s up?,’ ‘You’re pretty,’” she groaned. “Do better. Start an interesting conversation if you’re genuinely interested in the person I am.”
Kaur went on to highlight her second cardinal rule of romance: Stalking.
“I will stalk you on everything,” she warned gentleman suitors, revealing her plans to meticulously comb through their various digital profiles. “I have to, I’m a woman.”
“If I find problematic tweets, [‘Im] not talking to you,” she declared. “If you’re following a bunch of girls that aren’t following you back on Instagram, ick!!!..”
Kaur then set her third order in stone, decreeing that hopeful sweethearts have a firm “seven-day deadline” to ask her out on a date or else they’d automatically be deemed unworthy of her time. The no-nonsense siren, too, noted that she’d be keeping a watchful eye on a guy’s every move during their initial days of communicating, calling her observation “a test,” of a man’s ability to treat her like a lady.
If a poor schlub was lucky enough to meet her top four criteria, he’d then have to abide by Kaur’s fifth rule — arranging a proper first date.
“100% you’re going to be the one who’s planning the first date,” she said.
“I’m good doing whatever, but let’s keep it short, sweet, in a public place in the daytime and without any alcohol,” continued Kaur adding, however, her refusal to go on a walk or to a man’s house for their inaugural meeting.
Next, she asserted that aspiring inamoratos must exhibit the “bare minimum” characteristics and behaviors during the dawn of their courtship, including “loyalty, respect, communication, listening to the conversation, making eye contact…not being on your phone, showing manners and being polite to the service staff.”
And while demonstrating those qualities are key to Kaur, she won’t openly fawn over the man who conducts himself with such decency.
“I’m not going to be applauding you for it,” she said.
Kaur’s seventh golden rule is rooted in a budding boyfriend’s energy. She said, “I’m only attracted to healthy masculine energy and a provider mentality. If I find out you don’t have this, bye!.”
Lastly, the hard-boiled belle stated that contenders for her heart must never expect their generosity to be rewarded with sex.
“Just because you took me out on a date a paid for my dinner doesn’t mean I owe you any sort of physical intimacy,” said Kaur. “If you try to get pushy with a kiss when I haven’t hinted that’s what I wanted, bye!.”
And she says her unyielding list has rendered her lucky in love.
“I learned these rules after back-to-back dating for a few years throughout [college],” Kaur told NeedToKnow. “I wrote out what I was actually looking for in a partner and decided to set a boundary where I no longer accepted any less.”
She hopes her uncompromising credos help other women avoid scummy sharks in the dating pool.
“I want to normalize high standards,” said Kaur. “Sharing my lessons and making sure women across the world don’t make the same mistakes I did.”
“Due to past negative experiences, we literally hold ourselves back from getting the treatment we always dreamed of,” she added.
And single gals around the globe are singing her praises.
“The reaction online has been overwhelmingly positive,” Kaur gushed, noting that “thousands” of female fans have contacted her with applause over her stringer checklist.
“Women are so surprised to find that what they were once praising men for is not that impressive at all,” she said, “and they should feel confident in stepping into their power and only going for ‘Princess treatment’.”
However, not everyone is impressed by Kaur’s dating dictums.
Online, make haters have flocked to her comments section with criticisms and contempt.
“I’m all for having high standards but you’re coming off pretentious,” rebuked a detractor.
“Here’s how to do better guys — don’t go out with this type, you’ll be happier, can you imagine six plus months of this? Been there, done that,” spat a separate troll.
“Kiddo, put half of the effort [you did into making] this cute little [list of] demands
of yours into making me a sandwich,” wrote an apparent misogynist.
But Kaur isn’t easily agitated by antagonists.
In fact, she too busy enjoying her new relationship to care about the naysayers.
“I just celebrated one year with my boyfriend and it’s been my happiest and healthiest relationship,” said Kaur. “
He ticks off every standard I once wrote out and then some.”
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